*** NOTE ***
I’m deviating from my usual tech-oriented content today.
Today has been perhaps the saddest day of my life. My best friend, Ryan, passed away after suffering a heart attack brought on by a genetic condition.
His wife, family, and I have spent the last few days at his bedside in what turned out to be a futile vigil. The hours of lonely solitude were broken and punctuated by bad news from the doctors and overwhelming sadness. There was quiet conversation accompanied by the constant hum of monitors. There was the routine of the ICU nurses. And now he is gone.
As a general rule, you can’t pick friends. A best friend is a completely different animal where circumstances throw you together and one day you realize that something very different exists between the two of you. Something that you never quite put your finger on.
For nearly forty years, I’ve had a friend who I knew counted on me with a steadfastness that goes beyond words; I did the same for him. It was never a matter of proximity but rather one of empathy. It was rooted in the knowledge that there was no physical distance that would prevent either of us from coming to the others aid.
In the quiet periods during the week, I often reflected on what my friend had meant to me and to others. I recounted stories from school, work, and life in general. I thought about the many different people who had come to visit and what motivated them to overcome the natural apprehension to visit a dying acquaintance. Although each of them had a different experience and story. It occurred to me that there was a common thread.
I know that it sounds trite to say that he touched people’s lives, but it was true. Without exception, every person had at least one story that revolved around Ryan teaching them a valuable lesson. Whether it was the former boss who had learned the value of humility or the special education teachers he taught how to respect their charges, he made a tangible impact on all these people.
As for me, Ryan challenged me to be a better person in just about everything I did. Whether it was school, sports, work, and especially ethics, he innately knew what I wanted and found a way to get me to meet my own expectations. He never dictated, he never scolded, but he always motivated. He set a great example and just let me come along at a speed that was comfortable for me.
If I’m lucky, I will miss my friend until the day that I die. That’s because by missing him, I honor him and what he meant to me. Good bye friend.
So That's Life?
Spread Your Wings
02/28/2009*** NOTE ***
I’m deviating from my usual tech-oriented content today.
Today has been perhaps the saddest day of my life. My best friend, Ryan, passed away after suffering a heart attack brought on by a genetic condition.
His wife, family, and I have spent the last few days at his bedside in what turned out to be a futile vigil. The hours of lonely solitude were broken and punctuated by bad news from the doctors and overwhelming sadness. There was quiet conversation accompanied by the constant hum of monitors. There was the routine of the ICU nurses. And now he is gone.
As a general rule, you can’t pick friends. A best friend is a completely different animal where circumstances throw you together and one day you realize that something very different exists between the two of you. Something that you never quite put your finger on.
For nearly forty years, I’ve had a friend who I knew counted on me with a steadfastness that goes beyond words; I did the same for him. It was never a matter of proximity but rather one of empathy. It was rooted in the knowledge that there was no physical distance that would prevent either of us from coming to the others aid.
In the quiet periods during the week, I often reflected on what my friend had meant to me and to others. I recounted stories from school, work, and life in general. I thought about the many different people who had come to visit and what motivated them to overcome the natural apprehension to visit a dying acquaintance. Although each of them had a different experience and story. It occurred to me that there was a common thread.
I know that it sounds trite to say that he touched people’s lives, but it was true. Without exception, every person had at least one story that revolved around Ryan teaching them a valuable lesson. Whether it was the former boss who had learned the value of humility or the special education teachers he taught how to respect their charges, he made a tangible impact on all these people.
As for me, Ryan challenged me to be a better person in just about everything I did. Whether it was school, sports, work, and especially ethics, he innately knew what I wanted and found a way to get me to meet my own expectations. He never dictated, he never scolded, but he always motivated. He set a great example and just let me come along at a speed that was comfortable for me.
If I’m lucky, I will miss my friend until the day that I die. That’s because by missing him, I honor him and what he meant to me. Good bye friend.
Posted in commentary | 13 Comments »